"So Let Me Go, I Don't Want To Be Your Hero

I don't wanna be your big man,

I just wanna fight with everyone else.

Your masquerade,

I don't wanna be a part of your parade,

Everyone deserves the chance to walk with everyone else."

When Trouble Thinks It's Found Us, The World Falls Down Around Us, I Promise, Baby, You Won't Ever, You Won't Ever Feel A Thing,

'Cause I will take it on the chin,

For you.

So, lay your cuts and bruises

Over my skin.

I promise you won't feel a thing.

'Cause everything the world could throw,

I'll stand in front, I'll take the blow,

For you.

For you.

Don't Stop Here, I Lost My Place, I'm Close Behind

Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Out of the doubt that fills your mind

,

,

,

You finally find

You and I

Collide

I Hope This Goes Through Your Spine

To let you know that

I'm here

I'm here

and I'm here

and you're not alone

not even when

you are

here.

Words From This Is Gospel

'Cause these words are knives and often leave scars,

The fear of falling apart.

Oh Sorry, I Thought You Know

How is it feels like to have your heart disappointed,

Trust broken,

Time wasted.

I just thought that you know.

When I Was In High School, What I Learned Was Not Just Science Away and What I Got Was Precious Even If I Had to Get Burned Under the Sun,

But though we felt the sun, we never even complain at all.

We just laugh the life away.

Arts

People break love to the arts in the most beautiful way,

And some of them made it into the masterpiece.

I like how love can built Taj Mahal

I like how love is represented in Romeo and Juliet

I like how love made Sonny and Cher sing

I like how love made Seth sacrifice his life to be with Maggie in City of Angels movie

I like how all of these things become the arts for everybody to see.

But, everybody have their own arts of love, some are told and some are not.

Though some may be told, sometimes those are not their own stories.

Fictions, revised, directed, almost a little we found real and told by the writers on its own.

Even including in books we've read.

But though it's not real, at least they've made arts.

I also want to make arts.

To me, writing is the most artistic things beyond any other arts.

I want to write you in the most innocent way.

That's how I think the arts of love should be.

I Know

On the way you stand, on the way you sway

The way your hair curls in the rain

The little lines that write your face

Or the winter nights you'd come and stay

Or the way you hit me when you wanna fight

The way I yearn, the way I cry

The way our love rolls with the tides

But we know we'll make up every time

I know what you told me

I know that it's all over

And I know I can't keep calling

Every time I run yeah

I keep on falling

On you

Well, I've Been Holding On Tonight

What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay,
So long and goodnight,
So long not goodnight.

I Hate Arguing, But,

Maybe you should start to think the way that others are thinking.
So by that, you can gain some close friends.


You know what?
Sometimes, the way we think, is just too complicated for others.
That's society. You can't always win and you can't always right.


So give up some thoughts that you might find possible to you.
There are always somebody who disapprove.

That Car, That Road, That Weather, That Song, Those People

Isn't it funny how simple a song could give you the sensation of your past events and you can feel it again like it's happening where you are now?

It's funny and thrilling at the same time.

.

.

.

.

.

Like you can recall everything you've had and stuck in there for few minutes.

Give Me Reasons to Believe

That

You

Would

Do

The

Same

For 

Me

Tried Absolution of the Mind and Soul, It Only Led Me Where I Should Not Go,

Oh and the answer well how could I miss,
Something as simple as this.

Something as simple as this.

If Only I Could Give You An Advice, I Would Tell You To..

Quit it.

You've lost it already.

Current Status:

Sedang mencoba menghabiskan jatah gagal.

Once Upon a Time

I was falling in love

But, now I'm only falling apart

There's nothing I can do

A total eclipse of the heart

Even After Everything We’ve Seen, We’ve Barely Caught a Glimpse of What It Means. In the Architecture of the Soul,

Turning Page

"Though we’re tethered to the story we must tell

When I saw you, well I knew we’d tell it well

With a whisper we will tame the vicious seas

Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees"

There Are So Many Things To Be Shared

But there are a few things that should not be overexposed.
Know where you are to know your limit.

You Killed Me

You

Just

Did

There Is Another Confusing Thing About Being a Thing

If you look at a beautiful thing for so many times,

Do you get bored?

Do you wish it will be more beautiful?

Or

Do you wish it will just stay the same?

Don't you want it to change?

Just because it's beautiful now, doesn't mean it will be forever beautiful.

Right?

Why do people replace if my statement is not right?

People replace everything almost every time they feel bored.

They don't like to have or do something same everyday.

But,

From this part on,

It will get more interesting, and also,
Confusing..

I said people do replace things, right?

Then, what is a memory?

Why do people miss something?

Why people want to get back to the things they have replaced?

Why do people cheat and then wanting to get back?

Why do people love and then hate?

What makes people so weird?

Why do people change a lot?

Why do people destroy beautiful things?

People are so confusing.

I hate people.

I am people.

If This Was A Tale, Let Me Tell You Mine

You came again in a surprising moment and you were sort of grabbing my upper arm and scratch it softly but tightly. I sat there like I don't even know you're already there. But ignoring may not be the best at the moment.

So I looked up and,

That was the moment when everything disappeared right from your face.

Then I woke up with nothing left but a headache.

Why?

Thank You, August-Rose!

Talked to one of my good friends from high school. She kinda gave me inspiration to write this entry.

I was drafting posts and I keep scraping it out, erase words, and lack of thoughts. But, finally I got a topic.

So here is our short conversation that I’ve edited.

AR:    Maybe,we don't think the same way right now. I really do less think. I don't feel I'm already on the field you mean. I'm just being too subjective 

Me:    Aren't you happy?

AR:    Superficially,I'm happy. But I don't think that happiness ever fit in me for long time. Happiness doesn't really work for myself.

Me:    Happiness is a warm gun, that's a right phrase for everyone like what you said on one of your posts.

Wait, I got to quote that.

AR:    Yep, 'cause I think I'm not sure which post.

Me:    “the world won't let you got the happily ever after.” that one.

AR:    Ah,that one.

Me:    You said that already, it is a warm gun.

AR:   Warm in mean?

Me:    Kills you slowly, but warmly.

AR:    And,cruelly.

Me:   Yes. No wonder I was happy at first and the next time I wanted to chop myself into pieces. That's natural for everyone. Life is a food with so many seasonings and you choose which one to be added to your "food".

AR:    Is it someone else's quote?

Me:    Which one?

AR:    No wonder I was happy at first and the next time I wanted to chop myself into pieces.

Me:    Nope, I just typed it

AR:    Yours?

Me:    My thought, why?

AR:    That's absolutely great. What happen on your food right now?

Me:   Wow..actually I'm looking for something to be written on my blogs, talking to you gave me inspiration..

Overcooked.

My life’s been overcooked. But, it’s been a long time I haven’t shared random thoughts. Thanks August-Rose, thanks! We have talked a lot tonight, I hope to see you soon and then we can talk directly. It should be a great talk when we meet later.

Visit her writings: august-rose.blogspot.com

All These Crazy Things Are Inside My Brain

That's all. Nothing more and nothing less. I just like to type it down. It's just I always type and post entries when I was insane. That's what make this blog looks like a depressing world of words.


I am happy, but during my happiness, I can't write,
I enjoy.

I Did Let It Hit

And I did let it hurt.
But I did not cry.
I was stronger.


I am stronger.

Libur

Libur, tapi tidak bisa pulang.
Libur, padahal selalu identik dengan pulang kampung.
Libur, tiket pesawat mahal, lebih baik menabung.
Libur, hanya bisa menelfon orang rumah.
Libur, seharusnya bisa makan masakan Mama.
Libur, malah homesick.
Libur, tetapi tidak seperti liburan.

Gampang

Membuat orang menyesal itu gampang.
Abaikan saja, pasti dia heran dan lama-lama menyesal.

Tapi jangan salah,
Tidak ada orang yang selalu menyesal.
Lama-lama pasti muak.

Artinya, bisa jadi jika kau abaikan,
Malah menjadi muak.

One

Take my hand and my heart and soul,
I will only have these eyes for you.
And you know, everything changes but we'll be strangers if we see this through.
You could stay within these walls and bleed or just stay with me.
Oh lord, now all my senses come to life,
While I'm stumbling home as drunk as I have ever been and I'll never leave again,
'Cause you are the only one.
And all my friends have gone to find another place to let their hearts collide,
Just promise me, you'll always be a friend,
'Cause you are the only one.

You know what people say about some people who blog? Some of them can't even write. They just quoted things. I may be one, but I could not help myself not to quote this.























But, that's not the point.

Bait dan Kenangan

"I'm broken..do you hear me? I'm blinded..'Cause you are everything I see.."

Begitu bait tersebut mulai terputar malam ini, aku termenung. Rasanya sudah lama sekali lagu ini tidak kudengarkan. Aku pun beristirahat sejenak sambil mendengarkan lagu ini lebih dalam. Seketika bayangan dan perasaan semacam deja vu itu muncul, Aku sedang mengingat sebuah momen. 

"I'm dancin' alone, I'm praying, that your heart will just turn around.."

Momen itu semakin jelas. Kenangannya juga mulai terasa. Lagu itu masih terputar hingga kunyanyikan reff-nya. Kemudian, bait ini..

"If I'm louder, would you see me? Would you lay down in my arms and rescue me? 'Cause we are the same, you save me, when you leave it's gone again."

Rasanya sudah lama sekali tidak menyanyikannya. Irama dan liriknya melekat hingga aku mampu mengingat semua kenangan saat aku masih berada di kelas X dulu. Lagu ini mengingatkanku akan hari-hariku di SMA kelas X. Terasa sangat hangat dan semuanya terulang lagi malam ini, meskipun hanya dalam benakku.

"I've never had the words to say, but now, I'm asking you to stay for a little while inside my arms. And as you close your eyes tonight, I pray that you will see the light that's shining from stars above."

Seakan-akan lagu ini berbicara kepadaku. Bukan, bukan lagunya, tetapi kenangannya. Seolah-olah berkata ingin tinggal sejenak dan memintaku berada di dalam dekapannya, walau tanpa harus mengatakan apapun. Seolah-olah ia datang tanpa sebab dan memintaku untuk menampungnya sejenak. Ya, tentu saja aku terima.

Kau terasa hangat malam ini, tetapi mungkin tidak baik jika aku membiarkanmu tinggal.

"It just don't feel right, 'Cause I can love you more than this. Can love you more than this."

Lagu itu pun akhirnya habis, Setelah sekitar 4 menit kuhabiskan dengan mendekap isinya - hidupku, perlahan mereka sirna. Terima kasih sudah mau singgah. :)

And Again, The Script Teaches Me Something...

Even though in the lyrics, Danny (The Script's vocalist) was told by someone I believe the one he called as "She" in the song. But to me, Danny was the one who deliver this beautiful message to every fans of his, including me. And it's like he told me directly when the first I listened to this song. It's called "It's Not Right For You".

He said, "It's hard enough trying to live your life. But not following your dreams made you dead inside. If you don't love what you do."

If we don't do something now then we'll never know. If we stay here too long then we'll, we'll never grow old. So, before it's too late and it's killing you, yeah. We've only one life to live. So love what you do.

And again, The Script teaches me something... 

 

Mom's Arms

The more my body feel weak, the more I miss to be in your arms, mom. This sickness makes me want to go home and be a baby under your protection.

I just feel kinda homesick right now.

Too Many!

Too many things that are spinning through my mind. Too many!

They're like going back and forth, I don't get it. Why my mind confuse me by trying to make me think too much. Sometimes I can't handle it, I feel like it's going to explode.

I can't handle it. It's something strange, beautiful, sad, and good all at once.

Even the strangest happen when some songs are repeating in my mind while I am currently listening to another song from my iPod. 

Maybe I think too much. 

I probably should rest my eyes now.

We Are

Friends. What can you expect from a friend? Then clearly nothing a friend like me can do.

"Friends".

Here's A Piece Of Advice

If you want to enjoy a song, turn the volume down.

But if you want to understand a song, overturn the volume up.

Another Theory

If black doesn't define you, then don't let the color blind you.

I Know That,

You hate to hear more than you need to know. Even somehow I know it wasn't even about me, but face it, the world is small, you can't run away from the talks. Don't you ever think I ever had it too?

Yeah, I have. About you mostly. And it kills me. That's why I hate the first 5 months of 2014.

You just don't know.

And I won't let you know.

That's all pain.

After Some Truths

When someone really "gets" you, you better tell them the truth no matter how awful it is.

Because you'll never know what comes next after your last word.

If it is ever be good, then I'm glad you just did what I did,

If it is ever be bad, then I'm still glad you just did what I did.

Be brave, they'll appreciate it more. And remember;

Brave comes out with honesty. There is no brave without honesty.

If there's ever be, then it should be a bullshit.

About Time

Hello! It's really been a while since the last entry that I wrote, it's already 2015 and I just got something to be written this night--since I can't sleep. So, my 2014 went out very well. Got a great GPA score (which was my first GPA during college) and even my birthday surprises went out wonderful. Someone even made a kind of resume about the last entry, "And The Day Goes By", which in word I could say, "Marvelous". Thank you so much for that :)

Talking about time, tomorrow will be the last day I'm staying in this room in my hometown, because Saturday, I'll be back and prepare for the hectic short semester which they (in my university) called by Research Months. I am so not prepared to leave. Like who does? How do you want to leave when you feel so comfortable with things you have right now? Well, but what can I do, I'm friends with the time. Time told me that I really have to leave and chase my dreams. Sometimes it's best to leave what you love first, right?

About time, sometimes, it's my friend, sometimes I get so mad at it. Time is like something alive that you really need to befriend with. During my holiday, time has shown the best of it, but it also made me angry because Time moves too fast. It's like you're starting to have a date with Time, you and Time enjoy the progress and while you're falling too deep with Time, then suddenly Time tells you that Time really has to leave and hang you with your heart broken into pieces until you can find another better "Time". You know it sucks. People in here are so nice by giving me most of their times to spend with me. Best gift ever. Hooray, but the fact is, I could never get enough of these people. Well, this is my choice! I really have to live this way if I thought this is really the life I want.

About time, thank you for the short meaningful time you've shown me that I really get along with my brother like never before because we were always fighting. He's the best bro ever. I was really sad to leave him actually. Because I don't know when I'll be back again, maybe in few months, maybe next semester? Who knows! We'll never know stuffs right? :) All we have to do is to live and believe. If this is the life I chose, then I should be happy because at least no one has blamed you for choosing this way--instead, why would they? It's not their life by the way.

To Time, I should be so mad at you because you hop too high, run too fast, and kiss too sudden. But I think I should thank you for the "times" you know, your chance, though you're not even a living thing or a dead thing, you gave me enough at the first of the starting year. Thank you, Time. For everything. Now, do me a favor, help me to make another wonderful times this year again, like what you did to me last year :)

Surprise me, Time.