Well, it's been a while.
I honestly should be doing my thesis right now but, I got so many things in my mind and it bothers. Perhaps, I might need a time off to pour everything onto this entry. Right when I type this entry, I am putting Skeeter Davis' "The End of the World" on repeat. It relives my memories back and waking my deepest thought about how I think my world will end. Yes, I am thinking about how close it is to end of the world. Well, may not be the world wholly, but at least, my world. I kinda remember I am about to reach the end of my uni life in months. Didn't realize four years could be this fast. Best four years of my life so far tho. Perhaps it is because I enjoy life a lot lately, then everything starts to move fast. 'Relativity', thanks Einstein.
There is a saying I'd like to come up with, it is 'there is a comfort in knowing that everything is temporary'. Well, there actually is. But good things will past too, and in there, I found sadness. For example, I've been seeing my boyfriend everyday for a while now, isn't it sad to think that this too will come to an end? And this is all because of the end of uni life?! I come to a conclusion that when one thing is coming to an end, soon other things will too. Take a look at the bright side, they say, new life would not be so hard. You know what? Yeah it is not that hard to start new. It is the grief that makes the heart stray, and you can't easily get away from that.
The other example is, I am reaching the end of my semi-adult age. I will enter the life of fully being an adult ASAP. It sucks because the world will stop showing the sympathies towards all of your problems. You got no money? Work hard! They won't care. You're still single? Not their problem either, go interact with someone! You're an undergraduate student? Congratulations! But they barely hire fresh graduates for a specific position, with all due respect, please get a higher degree and come back later. You're still living with your parents? Shame on you, they're growing old can't you see? Stop being a burden to somebody else's life! You got no friends? Big joke! Even a seven year old knows how to fit in!
Now you see my point. The end of a semi-adulthood means, you'll get less care from the world while you're busy keeping up with it. And it will always be like that until you reach the age of elderly. It will not going to be an on/off relationship you have with the world, my dad said most of the time it will feel like an unrequited love. Bitter truth to live by is that perhaps the world was never really care, so take a good care of yourself. The good news is, though it may not seem sweet how the world will treat you then but, you'll live. You won't die, just suffocate, and that's the beauty of this all. You suffocate and then you'll get to treat yourself right, preventing it from getting harmed.
You'll work hard so you'll have money. You'll fix your behavior so you'll attract better for someone who might be the love of your life. You'll go for a master degree or maybe a Ph.D so you'll work in a well position. You'll afford to buy or rent an apartment, even maybe a house so you don't have to be a burden for your parents. You'll fit in the society so you don't have to feel alone anymore. See? This is how easy I could depict a perfect life, but that might happen to you. Those things will come but not all at once to you, it could be slow, steady, and with the right pace. So it's safe to say that you will be just fine.
In the end, you know it is only wise to understand this too shall pass. If the first law of Newton stated that a body at rest, stays at rest, remind yourself that it is not for you, it's for the dead. You're the living, you'll face forces, therefore, Newton's second and third law are more suitable for you. For whatever you're dealing with life right now, believe that it is never beyond your abilities. Sure it is not a bad thing to get sad about everything for once or twice in your life, but as soon as you'll figure out that life will only just left you behind, don't drown in it. We're gonna be just fine and everything will be the way that we're working on it.
So, how will my world end? I don't know, I'd like to say that it ends here.
It is still not happening yet so I guess I'm letting it off there.
And over here,
will be my other start.
