you

could

have

done

something.

Profound Words

Have you ever been in the situation,
Where you just want to craft something for 'the special',
But you know, you might not gonna be good enough?


Other times, you'll end up having nothing to present to them,
Because of your insecurities of flaws that they might found.
.
.
.
.
"Write about me", he said happily.
It was a goddamn test, I thought.
Then suddenly, that little friend of mine called What If, came and played her part.


"What If says he might not like it", she said as I listened.
"What If says he might think you're not that good", I started to worried.
"What If says he might not understand", I doubted what I wrote.
"What If says he might think you're an utter bullshit", I stopped writing.


As I stopped, I realized:
I do not know how to break him into words.
All I know is that I want to give him something.


"What If says he might want you to have it the other way", and this time, I think she was right.


Words are precious, once somebody's got to write about you, you'll live forever.
At least as a legacy in their creations.
In other words, if I write about him, I give him life.


But, I want to do it the other way.


I want to give him life, in a way he could never thought of.
I want to give him life, even in tiniest bits of things.
I want to give him life, through the smiles and the tears.
I want to give him life, because he gave me one.


And this,
Is a repay.
Consider this,
As your oxygen.

Fiction

"Life is a complete illusion, so why bother?"
That's what he said to me. Truth is, I was never sure which is real and which is not. Which is the made-believe and which is the real deal. Also, they way he said it, the way he made sure I got what he said, has got me thinking if it's ever be true.


"What is the truth?", I asked.


"It is something that lies within you"
"Only you, knows", he added.


"Then tell me,"
"What am I to you?"









"The truth", he smiled and turned.

I've been thinking

Promises are for cowards.
They promise 'cause they barely can prove without being tied.


But, really,
If promises tied people up,
I'd rather promising than being alone.

What I've Learned These Days

Sometimes, you don't have to stick your nose on people's business.
It's not that you don't care about them,
But it's just not your responsibility, and sometimes,
It's good to know that you don't have to think about everything.
You can't always carry tons of loads with you,
Without sorting down which are yours and which are not.

The other times, you might have to think about
How light life can be,
Sometimes.

You

Cannot

Miss

What

You

Have

Never

Had.

Should Have Known Right from the Start

You
Can't
Predict
The End.

I Just Happened to Realize that Most of the Time...

We seek shelter in someone who is wiser than us,
Without knowing that they are the most broken.

Through the Summer

Let me tell you a story about

A playlist

That I made through the summer

About a feeling that once wasn't there

It's about time until it blooms

And there are songs I picked

Representing the bittersweet of love

Through the summer.

Let me tell you a story about

A playlist

That tells another story

About how you and me

Went up and down the stream

Through the summer.

And let me tell you a story about

A playlist

That is as sweet as the artists

As pure as a feeling

As precious as a meaning

Over the nights we had together

Through the summer.

This is the story about

A playlist

Of a summer love

Of a friend

Of us all

A story that lasts

Once you press 'play'

It takes you back to the summer

Where it all began

It takes you to the whole story

From the first track

To the last one I picked

The stories are there

Kept, saved

In a playlist named

Through the Summer.

Direct link to the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/clarissaamadhea/playlist/1G3SB44N8nL23o1Ex3UrRD

There are things

that we can have

but

can't keep.

It Is Starting

These anxiety,
These scars,

Those reeling memories,

Those laughs.

It is starting now,

To be very confusing.

I have to keep telling myself,

That it is okay to lose you any time from now.

Can you imagine, how hard it is? :)

She Said,

"A woman's got to do what she's got to do."

Even if it means she denied herself the truth, 'cause when you're in too deep, you wake up when it's too late, you've fallen in love in the worst way.

I'm in love for the first time, don't you know it's gonna last?

It's the love that last forever,
It's the love that has no past.

As I grow older,

I realize that loving means you are trusting someone to hurt you,

allowing someone to break you,

yet you still let them stay, because you are too afraid to be alone.



and that's okay for you.

Hold on, my darling..

This mess was yours,

Now your mess is mine.

why come too soon,

Love?

nowhere man is not a lost man.

well, kid, now you get it:

being kind is not that hard, isn't it?

who knew that hell could come from something heaven sent...

Liver by Joey Straynge

there is an abundance
of roses
that circle my body. i go thru
this life with them,
one by one,
drying and it is perhaps because
i care far too much. i suffocate
them with my touch. not
intentionally.
my love
is a bulldozer. my love
is an omen.

My Summary of 2016

2016 to me is like...


A killing machine.



It killed people

destroyed cities

burned rights

took you

away

from 

me.

Damn you, 2016.

I Have Something for You, I Hope You Like It

Apa yang masih engkau simpan

Jauh di dalam duniamu

Aku masih merasakan

Ada sebagian dariku

Terbawa olehmu

Entah itu kau pendam

Atau kau tanam

Berharap tumbuh pohon berbuah manis

Yang kau sebut bukan dariku

Apa yang masih engkau simpan

Di bayang-bayang matamu

Ada sajak yang pernah kutulis

Tapi tidak, katamu itu masa lalu

Yang kau balut dengan waktu

Kau bilang sudah

Ku rasa belum

Kita sama-sama tahu

Kita masih berlari dalam lingkaran

Tanpa ujung, tanpa batas

Apa yang masih engkau simpan

Yang kurasa milikku

Atau pemberianku

Apapun itu

Kau dekap dia dalam duka

Aku menjagamu, selalu.